Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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