it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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