Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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