just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
