Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
