Your dad touched me again.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
