I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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