Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
