When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
