Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
