what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
