i just snorted my name. best moment ever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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