OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
