so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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