Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i love accidental penises.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
