Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
