This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
