She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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