would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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