I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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