I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
