I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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