Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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