um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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