If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
