youre lurking in front of me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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