yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
