Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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