In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
