I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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