Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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