theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
