my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
