I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
