You really coming over, don't trick.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head