Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.