Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program