Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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