i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
