I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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