Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.

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  (818): my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again. http://tfl.nu/vc1t
  Replies (24) Good night (3720) Bad night (610)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5564) Bad night (1011)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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  (410): Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever. http://tfl.nu/6xdo
  Replies (15) Good night (4989) Bad night (936)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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  (804): there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule! (1-804): Wait are they playing beer pong to? http://tfl.nu/dq3n
  Replies (13) Good night (4708) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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  (251): I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts. (478): Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions. http://tfl.nu/kp4v
  Replies (13) Good night (2896) Bad night (1122)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you

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  (262): he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you http://tfl.nu/6gzr
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (2350)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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  (623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt
  Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (4048)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (1423)
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  (88): View more from

  As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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  (88): As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice. http://tfl.nu/ji6g
  Replies (10) Good night (1948) Bad night (742)
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  (681): View more from West Virginia

  Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.

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  (681): Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no. http://tfl.nu/cmwe
  Replies (12) Good night (1682) Bad night (405)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  (662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6
  Replies (1) Good night (1012) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...

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  (262): I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf... http://tfl.nu/zbk2
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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  (859): I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything. http://tfl.nu/z1ef
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (275)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars

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  (515): i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars http://tfl.nu/h89f
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation

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  (281): I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation http://tfl.nu/41s4
  Replies (1) Good night (241) Bad night (341)

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