We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
