Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So many bounce houses so little time
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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