I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
