Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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