What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
