i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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