I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
