Old men and throwing up are my life now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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