god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
