Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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