it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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