At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
