He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is the high leading the old right now
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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