i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They took my balls.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
