Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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