We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
