Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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