This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
