He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Two words: nipple clamps
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