Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize