I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
