I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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