I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
