addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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