why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
