is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
